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Internet Lovers

by John Pillsbury
He told her he was 6' 4" but was only 5' 3"
Told her he had curly hair but was bald as bald can be
He told her he was an oil man and nobody's fool
Actually he was a janitor at the middle school
She sent him a picture cut from a magazine
And from that picture- the prettiest girl he'd seen
She said she weighed 120- she actually weighed 310
Thought if she had to meet him she'd start a diet then
They chatted on the internet- told all the lies above
Pretty soon the two of them were hopelessly in love
When on the internet he called himself john wayne
While her internet name was lovely lois lane
He claimed he lived in TEXAS- she said Iowa
Every time they planned to meet there was something in the way
Though they didn't know it they lived in the same town
And every time they'd meet they'd put each other down
Because of his small size she called him a little wimp
And because of her massiveness he called her the goodyear blimp
They were hostile to each other- as mean as they could get
The two soul mate lovers on the internet

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Copyright © 1997 by John Pillsbury. All rights reserved.